Limbo

I’m kind of in emotional limbo right now. Graduation was Saturday and now most of my friends who are seniors have left or are about to leave. Today, Jen packed up the rest of her stuff and left to go home (Illinois) for the summer before she moves to Portland for internship. As she and I hugged and said goodbye, I think I was just in shock or something. I don’t know that it has really hit me that we won’t see each other very much for the next year and a half. I don’t think it has sunk in.

Two weeks ago, at our internship sending service, I was very emotional. I think part of it was because I realized how quickly the past two years have gone and how fast the next two will go. I think I then put myself at graduation and that we were all leaving, not for a year, but for good. I am fairly good friends with many of the seniors and extremely good friends with many people in my class. It is hard to leave.

But now I’m just emotionally not present, or in limbo maybe. Now that many people have left and there aren’t very many of us left here, I’m adjusting. But, I think the reality of internship, the reality that I won’t be with any of my friends next year, has set in. Internship is becoming a reality in the sense that I was just up there and at least now I have a picture of what it is going to look like (at least a little bit). But in terms of leaving here, leaving Trinity, I just don’t think I’m there and I don’t think I’m ready to be there either. Right now it just seems like the past two summers... people not here, but they will come back and we’ll start classes again. But that’s only half true. People will come back, but I won’t start classes with them for another year! I’m in limbo, emotional limbo.

Emotional limbo stinks! On one hand, I’m excited about internship, on the other I know the reality hasn’t really sunk in yet. Hopefully I’ll come out of limbo soon... but I know it will eventually happen. =)

Kate