I want somber

It's Good Friday... and I want somber.

Tonight I went out to Thornville for a joint service with many of the Christian churches in Thornville. The service was held at South Shores Ministry which is a non-denominational Christian church which meant that the service wasn't really liturgical. I also feel like it wasn't somber enough, nor was there enough focus on the cross. Really, I suppose that last statement is kind of an interesting one because the word cross was used I don't know how many times so one would think there was plenty of focus on the cross - but I guess there wasn't enough emphasis on the nature of the cross. I feel sort of like it was light hearted (sort of) and focused past the cross to the resurrection. There were several times during the service that I wanted to stand up and say, "We haven't gotten to Easter yet." It is weird becausee it wasn't overt. It wasn't like we said, "He is risen, he is risen indeed." That didn't happen. Yet, we didn't focus on the death and the decay of the cross.

I think this is a problem for me because the cross is central to understanding our flaws and emphasizing our need for God. Yet, we don't focus enough on it. It is the ugly part of our faith. Even the crosses we wear around our necks tend to be pretty. We need to focus on the nails, the pain, the suffering... without focusing on the resurrection. That will come two days from now. But for now, I think we need to have at least one day when we focus entirely on the cross. I want it to be somber. I want to feel the sting, the pain of death. I want to know what it is I am saved from and I don't think I got it tonight.

Maybe I am selfish, but I want others to feel this with me. I want others to know why God died on the cross. I want others to feel the same sting and then to feel the same relief on Easter. Maybe it isn't really selfish... maybe it is simply part of my calling to be a pastor.

Anyway, I want somber...

Kate