How are things going?

I recently asked a friend how things were going... really, a pretty standard question for me to ask. His response was, “Bad.” I wasn’t totally caught off guard; I knew there were some things going on for him and that was partially why I asked. But his response did make me thing a little later about the question and my responses to it when I’m asked.

That question, “How are things going?” is a question usually reserved for a quick greeting in the hall... something asked in passing. Another version of it is “How are you doing?” Either that or in pastoral care type conversations, or even just conversations with a friend; but I think most frequently I ask it and hear it in the context of a greeting, usually in a hallway. When I’m asked, my typical response is. “Alright.” Nothing terribly specific, nothing that will point in either direction. If things really are good, then I’ll probably express that... but if things aren’t so good, alright will suffice. I think part of this is because I’m not willing to take the time (or sometimes I just don’t have it) to discuss anything futher. The minute you say things aren’t good, that things are even bad, people want to know why and how and how that’s affecting you. Part of that is the natural human instinct to figure out what’s going on I suppose. But, especially around here, people genuinely care and want to help in anyway possible. I think it’s a symptom of a life of ministry... a disease that has affected this place... one that I’m not sure I really want to cure. =) Anyway, I think when the question is asked in passing, in a hallway, I’m less likely to be honest, to open up, because that would take up more of my time and energy. Now, change the context, and I’m probably more likely to be honest, to open up. If I’m with a good friend and we’re sitting someplace talking, that’s a bit different.

What made me think of all this I suppose was the context in which I had asked the question. It was almost in passing, in the courtyard between buildings. Yet my friend was extremely blunt - things are bad. I think even those times I’m being more honest, I tend to try and paint a slightly better picture of things for myself... I don’t think I have ever described things as bad... I’m more likely to hedge things a bit. I wonder if that is simply an encouragement for myself. I don’t want to admit how bad things really are. Or, perhaps, my willingness to always look for the good in things. I don’t know...

So, in some respects, my friend’s bluntness caught me off guard. But I’m glad he and I talked. He appreciated my asking and it gave me something to think about. I don’t think I’ve come to an answer about any of this, nor do I think I need to. These are simply some observations about how we view things and then how we voice them (which are often not the same way).

Kate

Flying By...

I realize it’s almost been a week since I last posted... but only because I’m looking at the date I last posted and today’s date together. Otherwise, it really does not seem like it has been that long. I believe it is because time is just flying by. Tomorrow starts the fourth week of the term and I’m sure that before I know it we’ll be at the end of the term. I really just don’t know where all this time is going.

In other news, I am definitely back into the swing of classes and such. I spent much of the day yesterday in the library partially because I really needed to get some stuff done but also because I just simply wanted to get some work done and that’s always been a good place for me to be. I’m also honestly starting to think that the more I study, the longer I’m in seminary, the bigger a dork I become. I’m excited (but also willing to laugh at myself for this) because I found a website tonight that allows me to download MP3s of the New Testament being read in Greek. Man! What a geek! I think I’m sick, yet I’m not sure I want a cure either. Anyway, definitely back into the swing.

Here’s something I feel like I need to debrief/journal about. As part of my MIC experience this year, I’m visiting two members of our congregation on a fairly regular basis. I made my first visit to one of these ladies on Friday. Overall, it was a good visit and I am happy that I get to walk with her on her journey for a short while. But one thing about it makes me stop and think about a lot of things taking me back to CPE. This particular person has had a lot of health problems lately and after being in rehab has moved to her daughter’s house until she is strong enough to move back to her own house. She can’t drive and only gets out if someone takes her or occasionally to go out to eat with her daughter and son-in-law. She also doesn’t have very many visitors. Anyway, she was extremely glad to see me. Partially, I think, because she and I used to talk when she was still going to church, but additionally because she really wants to be with people. During our visit, she talked a lot and I listened which is exactly what I had planned. But after an hour, I needed to go. I wanted to stay, but I had other things to do. Additionally, I thought (and this is totally a CPE thing), have I been here long enough, too long or not long enough? I wound up excusing myself at a point when the conversation died down a bit, but she asked if I really had to go. I wanted to say no I think because I do enjoy visiting with her, but also because I felt bad she didn’t have anybody else there at the moment (her daughter and son-in-law work during the day) and I would be leaving her to an empty house. I genuinely felt bad. But I also knew that I had other things I needed to do and other appointments to keep. I also knew that I couldn’t be there with her all day, every day, and I can’t take away how lonely she is. I did tell her that I would like to come back and visit again. She really liked that idea. I have to say I look forward to it, but I also have the feeling that I will feel the same way next time too. I really wish people didn’t have to be so lonely, it makes me sad. But regardless, it was a good visit.

That’s probably enough from me for now... probably more than needed to be written, but oh well. More at a later time I’m sure.

Kate

The North

There are a couple of things I miss about the southern portion of the United States (particularly the Southwest). Now that it is winter, there is one in particular I am reminded of almost every day. I am reminded that in the winter we get significantly less daylight each day than the southern half of the United States. Almost every day (with maybe the exception of Saturday and possibly Friday), I go to sleep when it is dark (and has been dark for a while) and I get up and leave when it is still dark. Now, I know I don’t usually get as much sleep as I should, but it should be noted that it is dark here for at least fourteen hours a day, if not more. If I went to bed when it gets dark around 5 or 5:30 and got up when the sun rises sometime between 7:30 and 8, then I would be very well rested.

When I was in high school, which was the last time I really remember getting up early on a regular basis, it was only around the time of the switch off of daylight savings time in the fall that I would drive to school in the dark. I almost always left the house to go to school at 7, and usually the sun was up by then. But this is New Mexico which is closer to the equator. This is showing me how much further north Ohio is and subsequently darker (not to mention all the clouds which usually don’t bother me). My temptation is to say the whole getting up before the sun thing needs to stop, but I don’t really see that happening while living in Ohio, at least in the winter anyway. During the summer, I would usually get up before the sun, but by the time I left the sun was usually up thanks to the rotation of the earth. That’s the bonus I guess... darker during the winter and brighter during the summer.

So that’s the random musings of the day... more later I’m sure.

Kate

Something Really Cool...

I had the privilege of being part of something really cool today.

On Friday, Jen told me about a meeting that she thought I might be interested in going to. She had been told by her MIC supervisor and he said she was invited and could bring a friend if she wanted; but we had to keep it quiet. Why the secrecy and what kind of meeting was this?

For the past three months, an ecumenical group of local clergy have been meeting along with some lawyers in an attempt to write a complaint addressed to the IRS. They believe (and I think rightfully so) that the pastor of World Harvest Church in Columbus, Rod Parsley, and another pastor of a church in Lancaster, OH, and their churches have been violating the IRS tax code. They have been using their churches as a means for electioneering. So, they had finally crafted the complaint asking for the IRS to investigate these two pastors and their churches; calling additionally for an injunction. Today’s meeting was a meeting of local clergy to sign this so it can be sent to Washington.

This has the possibility of being huge and as I write this, the story should be going out on the AP wire. Plus, it will also be appearing in the New York Times and the Columbus Dispatch. NPR has already interviewed Jen’s MIC supervisor and the story should appear there too. Rod Parsely and World Harvest have become ‘rising stars’ in the national religious arena as well as the conservative Christian political arena. I actually saw him on Larry King Live some time last fall. Additionally, in light of the IRS tax investigation of All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, CA, this should make national news. With all this media coverage (hopefully), it would be dumb for the IRS to ignore it.

So anyway, we’ll see where this goes. As I am not clergy yet, I didn’t sign it, but that’s ok. Getting to be there and witness this was kind of cool. I hope it works because I, honestly, think that what Parsley and his church claim to be the gospel is in fact a load of crap. Health and wealth will not be bestowed on you by Jesus because you give your life savings to World Harvest, Rod Parsely, and whatever causes they might support. It angers me.

In fact, I just checked the New York Times website and sure enough, there was the story underneath National News. Here’s the link to the story: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/16/national/16church.html

Anyway, that’s the scoop... we’ll see what happens next.

Kate

Time is passing...

I have been a firm believer for a while now that time does actually seem to get faster the older a person gets. However, I am still amazed at how fast time seems to be passing the older I am getting. It seems that even one more year, or even one more quarter in the academic year, makes time go that much faster. We’re already done with the second week of our term, only eight more to go and I don’t even know where this week went. It will be the end of the term before we know it... it will be the end of the spring term before we know it, it will be the end of the summer and the start of internship before we know it... I just don’t know where the time is going. I run through days and before I know it, it’s time to go to bed and get up for another day. Then, before I know it, it is the end of the week and I have a few precious days of rest (but sometimes not) before it starts all over again. I don’t know where the time goes, but I think I’m ok with that. I’m enjoying the ride.

Kate

Who Says Worship Isn’t Fun?

Funny story from seminary...

Today, during chapel, we had a baptismal remembrance. After Pastor Ruth and Jeremie (who were leading worship) moved over to the font, Ruth started a short reflection. One thing you have to understand about the font at Trinity is that it is big and it has the ability to drip water. The noise of the dripping water (there’s a place for it to go, it doesn’t get all over the floor) serves as both a symbol of the running, living water we are baptized in and as an audible reminder of our baptisms.

Back to Ruth... during her reflection, she referenced the drip... but there was just one problem, it wasn’t turned on today. She looked at the font briefly, made mention of it and moved on. Apparently, this whole thing troubled the president of the seminary, Mark Ramseth. He got up, while Ruth was still talking, and started looking around the font. He was looking for the switch to turn the font “on” yet he didn’t find it. You know why? Because it’s not actually on the font, it’s up in the sound booth. It was hysterical! Here’s Ruth giving a short reflection on baptism and our beloved president is wandering around the font with a confused look on his face looking for a switch that isn’t anywhere near him. He finally gave up and sat down, but not before spending 30 seconds looking for it. And who said worship wasn’t any fun??

Kate

Barn Raising

Sometimes I struggle. I struggle to see God working in this world. There are times when all I see is the horrible realities of life all around me. All I see is the brokenness of humanity. It is during these times that I have problems seeing what is right in front of me... of seeing God’s love in the midst of the crap. It ebbs and flows... I always believe, always trust... but sometimes I wonder where God is in all of this. I wonder if God is really here or gone missing. Most of the time I wonder if I’m just missing what is really here. But there are definitely times when I struggle to preach the gospel because in many ways the words I speak sound incredibly hollow. How do words take away grief? How do words give hope? I ask myself these questions sometimes.

Now is not one of those times thankfully. Now I can see the ways God is working in the midst of everything. Not great things in matters of scale, but small things here and there remind me that we aren’t alone. We have not been left alone. Something that reminded me of this is something I recently read by Anne Lamott. In her book, Traveling Mercies, she has a section entitled “Barn Raising.” She talks about her friends who have a daughter recently diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. She talks about walking on the journey with them from diagnoses up through the time of the writing. Life is not easy for them, in fact it can be downright difficult. Yet she and the rest of their friends continue on the journey with them. Somewhere along the way, she realized that she (and the rest of their friends) could not take away the pain they were feeling. But what they could do, she describes as building walls around them. They can build walls that form into protection. This is what she writes:

Except that we, their friends, all know the rains and the wind will come, and they will be cold - oh, God, will they be cold. But then we will come too, I said; we will have been building this barn all along, and so there will always be shelter. (pp. 153-4)

That’s grace. Crap will happen... but there are people there to walk with you and to build barns around you when you need it. People to cook you food, people to take care of children, people to listen, people to hug, people to cry with you. God builds barns all around us when we need shelter, and uses our friends and other people around us to do it.

Kate

One week done... nine more to go.

So, one week of the term is done, only nine more to go. I’m settling back into the swing of things and it looks like classes (for the most part) will be good this term. I’m also enjoying being back here with friends and the community here, I really missed some of it during interim and while I was in New Mexico. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed being in New Mexico too and I miss all those people now that I’m back.

I’ll probably write more later... but for now, time to get going on the homework I suppose. I think I’ve procrastinated long enough.

Kate

Start of a New Term

Tomorrow starts a new term. In many ways, it seems like we haven’t been in classes in a really long time, like it is the start of a whole new school year. Granted, it’s been almost three weeks since my last interim class, but really that isn’t that long. I don’t remember the beginning of the winter term last year feeling like I had been away that long and I was out of the country for interim and not in Ohio for over a month. I don’t know what it is really... maybe I miss being in classes. Well, I guess to a certain extent I do.

I am excited about starting classes again tomorrow. I just can’t get away from reading some sort of theology books nor can I really escape theological conversations. It is hard for me to totally turn it off, I really enjoy it. I suppose it’s a good sign, I really enjoy what I’m doing. But I also think about trying to balance work with play... that way I don’t get burned out. I think to a certain extent, it concerns me slightly that I’m not able to completely detach (in the past three weeks I finished one theology book and am about halfway through another in addition to reading a novel) when I’m on vacation. But I also think that if I were getting burned out, I wouldn’t be attracted to it, I wouldn’t want to read the books. But I don’t know... how healthy is it?

Oh well... that’s what’s been on my mind, especially when thinking about the start of the term. One thing I will miss about vacation, sleep. I’ve been getting plenty lately and I’m not sure I’m ready to live on caffeine again. But that’s ok... it will work, it always does. Plus, this term should be quite a bit less hectic than the fall term. Even the type of classes I have lend themselves to a better schedule. Plus, some of the other commitments I had during the fall term either decrease significantly or go away altogether this term. However, in the meantime, there will be others that are increased or come up... but I still think it won’t be as crazy as the fall term was. Let’s just hope that I’m right. =)

Kate