Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Definitions...

What defines you?

I've been wrestling with that question a bit for the past several weeks. What defines me? Is it how successful I am? Is it my sense of humor? My ability to sit with somebody in crisis? Maybe my ability to just hang out and have a good time? What is it that defines me? What is it that I allow to define me? Do I allow the world to define me? Do I allow my perfectionism... or the voice that speaks out of my perfectionism to define me? Who or what defines me?

I struggle with this question because at different times I have different answers. Hanging in my office is a towel that says, "Remember who you are." It's a towel because I am to remember that I am claimed by Christ, I am defined by Christ, in the waters of baptism. I know that... I know that I am Kate, a child of God. But in my weaker moments, in my times of doubt, I find myself trying to depend on me... to depend on what I can and cannot do. I define myself by the world... by the level of success or the level of failure. Or perhaps I should say that sometimes I define myself by the crazy expectations I set for myself which never seem good enough.

Advent and Christmas always seem to be a time of spiritual renewal for me... a reminder of who I am, of who defines me. It is not the world, rather a baby laying in a manger, that defines me. But how do we, how do I, carry this notion through the rest of the year? How do I constantly remember what defines me?

This is something that I ponder. Not only for myself but for my ministry. How do we as the Church remind the people what defines them? What defines us?

I continue to ponder...

Kate

1 comment:

Kim said...

Keep pondering chica....and I my ponderance on this topic (just off the cuff here) is: I am Kim, child of God (you are Kate, child of God) and that is the overarching and truly only 'necessary' umbrella. However, I am also Kim, the former teacher, Kim the friend, Kim the one who loves hockey and beer, Kim who struggles when conversation is non-existent, Kim who is a perfectionist....Because of our sinful nature, I think we will also struggle trying to 'define' ourselves wholly...and that's where the good news rings so vibrantly - because we are claimed and loved by God, our broken and incomplete and even at time sinful definitions are never full, and that's ok. Because God calls out to us daily who we are, calling us back to our full and whole being - as children of God. So yes, I am a hockey and beer loving perfectionist, who loves to have conversation and laugh, who is all the more, Kim, child of God.

Again - off the cuff (and maybe 'practicing' for my approval interview in just over 4 hours...call ya later!)