I had a conversation today with an older couple and I noticed something a couple times during the conversation that I've been wrestling with ever since.
At a couple of points in the conversation, the couple were talking about other people and I noticed that they were specific to mention if a person was African-American. But didn't say anything about the others (who I assume are white... they didn't describe them as white anyway). Honestly, I did not understand what the fact of the people being black had anything to do with what these people were talking about and the first time it happened I think the description came off a bit derogatory. They told me that they bought their house from "black people" and that it was very dirty when they moved in. Was the house dirty because the people were black and that means they can't clean or just because they were people who didn't clean? Why did they feel the need to share the information that the couple was black?
So here's where my wrestling comes in... should I have said something? It seems that there are some underlying prejudices there and I feel called to speak up against injustice. Yet I think to a certain extent I didn't want to make the observation because I didn't want to offend them (they are prospective members). But was I right in not trying to offend them? Is this something that is worth my energy wrestling with or is it something that I should just let slide? I guess is it really important enough to make the observation to these people or would it just disrupt too much?
But I also have to recognize the age difference as well as the difference in where we grew up. These people are probably in their 70s (they're within two months of their 53rd wedding anniversary) and have lived in Ohio if not all their lives but most of it (where there is much more racial tension I've noticed). I'm only 25 and grew up in New Mexico before moving to LA - so multiculturalism is a huge part of my life (and honestly, as much as I like Ohio, I miss a lot of it out here). So I guess I'm more sensitive to all of that and in some respects it's not surprising to me that I noticed it. I'm sure a huge part of it is due to age also - I've noticed that even the older people I know who have lived in New Mexico for a good portion of their lives are occasionally susceptible to the same sort of comments (although not as frequently I think).
So what do you all think? Was I right to just not say anything at all or was there a better way of handling it? Maybe this is just nothing and I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. I don't know....
Kate
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Speaking Up
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3 comments:
Hey! Thanks for the thank you note! :) Yeah, I have those sorts of conversations too... I just try to ask myself if I felt like I needed to say something to make myself feel better or make myself look better, or if something really needed to be said...
I just got all my evaluations done yesterday. Ugh, so close to being gone - but I still have two sermons and a project to write up
"I guess is it really important enough to make the observation to these people or would it just disrupt too much?"
Following this question I would ask, is our call to speak up and seek to end injustice greater than protecting the potentiality of membership? I mean, not to say I would have jumped right on it, but in retrospect, could this not have been a fairly powerful witness moment - when these potential new members discovered that the call to justice is a call this community is not afraid to hear?
Granted, it could have turned out that you pissed them off and they never came back. But the thought of racial equity would be lurking with them, planting a seed maybe...of which you may never see the flower, but planted none-the-less.
So really, I guess the question is not should you (and all of us) have spoken up in this situation (or in similiar ones) but how you would speak up and confront injustice like this? How would we step into a respectful and loving conversation surrounding presumptive and prejudicial statements like this?
Thanks for the post Kate...hope internship is winding up nicely. How much longer?
Me, knee-deep in the waiting game and now trained as a cashier! Woo-hoo! I'll be up in Columbus the first weekend in August for Tim's ordination on Saturday...you free?
I agree Kim - I think the issue of justice needs to be addressed and that's what bothered me I guess. But since then, I've thought more about it and also thought about receptivity. I think for me it wasn't so much about pissing them off and not having them join the church so much as that they may be more receptive to that observation from "their pastor" instead of the "pastor at the church they just started visiting." At what point are we willing to hear a hard word and who are we most willing to hear it from? Those are the things I continue to wrestle with I think.
Thanks for the thoughts. I'm glad you commented.
As for the first weekend in August, I may be available, I need to check my schedule.
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