Right and Wrong

I've had a lot of conversations lately with people who are struggling with what is right and what is wrong. Quite a few have primarily been wrestling with what is right particularly given their Christian faith. In essence they want to know what is a sin and what is not.

So I've been thinking (as somebody who is always looking for the right answer, looking to do what is right), sins are not purely checklists of things which are wrong. Sin is purely relational and I don't think we often get that (myself included). It isn't about following a list of things set out in the Bible as sins (although many are... but more about that later) and knowing that we are right and good... it's about being in relationship with one another, right relationship with one another.

Now, let's go back back to those items listed in the Bible as sins, as I said above, many are still sins. So now thinking about the relational framework, let's take adultery as an example. A woman cheats on her husband, commits adultery with another man (or even another woman). The problem is not only that it is adultery, but that she is in a relationship that is supposed to be characterized by trust and love (her relationship with her spouse or partner) and she has gone outside of that relationship, sharing a level of intimacy with another person. That breaks the trust with her spouse/partner and creates a huge rift in their relationship. But you may be saying that is only if he finds out... not true. The adulteress act causes her to constantly have her guard up around him, hoping he doesn't find out. She is not able to fully be with him, fully giving of himself, because she's always trying to make sure her act isn't found. It is entirely relational.

Every law, every command from God is not about setting up rules for us to follow but really about making sure we have the best possible relationships with one another. If I lie, if I cheat, if I steal... those cause relational problems with those around me. But, I will also argue that it isn't that cut and dry.

Let's say that I lie to a robber, telling them that there isn't anybody else in the apartment when a friend is down the hall. Maybe an extreme case, but if the robber takes my word and leaves, I have potentially protected my friend. But if sin is relational, it wasn't wrong for me to lie because I protected a friend from potential harm (especially from a robber).

While I'm sure that's a pretty easy case when most would agree, I think that as the cases get more and more difficult, we really want to do the right thing but aren't sure how to do that. So I argue that we begin to think more for ourselves, think more about relationships and what relationships are going to be hurt, how they are going to be hurt, if we take particular actions. I believe that if we begin to do that rather than following a list of "approved" sins, then we will be far better off. But perhaps I'm just in my own little world... =)